Ok. Cricket’s been the big thing these past few weeks. Everyone wants to know the score. Everyone’s asking whether they’ve played this afternoon or whether the light was too bad to play.

And I sit there. And I watch.

Read my lips: “This – sport – makes – no – sense!”

What game lasts 5 days and ends in a tie!? Worse, who pays for tickets, goes well out of their way to watch their team play, yet cheers when the Umpire with the funny hat says their team won’t be batting just yet because the weather’s not good or the light’s too low?!

I’m starting to understand the rules about the ball and the wickets and the kneepads and the running around. But still, a sport that lasts 5 days a game and has been won by the same country for 19 years is much too odd for me.

I guess I should stick in the “Go England Go!” here, to please the father in law, but I’m sorry to say, even after his Cricket 101 course for me this afternoon, I still don’t get it. Sorry. I’ll go back to playing hockey with a frozen poop, like a good little Canadian.