Some of the +3000 November Google searches, in keeping with my much-loved monthly (sorta) tradition! This month was a true success…

• “pimp my girl / pimp my fiesta” – This could all go so wrong… Is it set in Essex?
• “what are the most original but nice baby names in london” – Like Shaznee, Barry, Ceejay, etc… You Chavbabymaker.
• “drinking age in menorca” – As soon as you’re able to hold a glass, hombre!
• “redletter days refund” – Yes, right this way, visit http://www.when-hell-freezes-over.com for your refund. Please hold while Mrs. Elnaugh flaunts her skills (or total lack thereof) on Dragon’s Den for yet another year
• “audrey a lovely canadian girl” – Didn’t think of asking for her phone number after that one night stand, didja?
• “jordan lip-synching children-in-need” – What else is there to say? Glad I’m not alone thinking that
• “do i look bovered?” – Do I? Yeah but do I look bovered??
• “khyle westmoreland” – Oi! Hi Khyle, doing another vanity check on Google, are ya? 😉 Same applies to you, Mr. Floyd Hayes. Don’t think I didn’t see you!
• “girl in constipation adverts” – Please tell me it’s not because you find her hot in that advert!
• “is it going to snow on friday 25th november” – The stuff you get in England isn’t snow, it’s just that the sky’s got dandruff.
• “lessons on being disappointed” – Lesson is, don’t do business with Red Letter Days
• “getting disconnected from ntl” – You gotta be kidding. It doesn’t work that way. NTL is like Royston Vasey, once you get in, you just won’t leave!
• “red letter days marketing mix failure” – Could we be talking about Rachel Elnaugh again!? (Yes I’ve got a gripe with her)
• “what would be a healthy three course meal and explain why it is healthy in uk” – Fish and chips. Yes, I tell you it’s healthy! Only healthy in the UK though. It’s only 150cals I swear! (Stupid thicko)
• “i want to look a photo at guys disguised as the girl” – You… have umm… problems… you know that, right?