I’ve got a bone to pick with women today. No, in fact, two.

Before I get into the first one, here’s my disclaimer: I have a rubbish sense of fashion, I don’t believe in pain for the sake of looking good, so Manolos and Jimmy Choo’s aren’t on my shopping radar, and neither are clothes that actually need ironing before being worn. But I do believe in not inflicting pain upon others by looking dreadful.

Ok, now that it’s out of the way, time to bitch. Can someone explain to me what the attraction to leggings is? I just don’t get why late teens/young 20’s have started wearing ankle length leggings, usually black, but sometimes lurid pinks and blues.

Let me spell out how I feel about Those Who Believe Themselves To Be Fashionable But Are Not: “If you’re short, leggings make you look dumpy and hobbit-like. You’re short, I’m short, don’t make it worse than it already is!” It’s like leggings are an acceptable replacement to tights. But it looks terrible! And Go Fug Yourself agrees with me lots.

Alright, now, second victims: The Quadra-Boobs. This is an affliction of both the young and old, though the old have been perpetrating the worst Fashion Crimes recently. Bras are great things, they hold your boobs in place. But they’ll only do a good job of it if you choose the right bra! Slack straps causing the boobs to head South, straps too tight making you look like a tied-up pork roast ready for the oven, or worst of all, cups too tight, causing major boob leakage above the cups and the dreaded Quadra-boob.

Nowadays, shops like La Senza do bra fittings for free, so there is no excuse. A good bra will give you a better posture, make movement a whole lot more comfortable, and make you look less fat by separating the belly roll and the boob roll. To every woman in the world, do yourself a favour – Go for a bra fitting, get a couple of new bras, and chuck out all the ill-fitting ones.

You’ll feel prettier for it!*

(* Assuming you’re not also wearing leggings, in which case you’ll need a whole new outfit probably.)