Funny Google Searches #9: The Jaded B*tch Edition

Every so often, I trawl through my blog’s search logs to find out what topics have ignited the interest of readers. There’s the top content, the usual search terms. But then there’s the dregs, the random gobshite some people search for that leaves me completely mystified HOW that landed them on my blog!

So here’s to sharing the random Google search results some people have used to find some of my posts.

  • “toby carvery nutritional information”: I dunno, what’s the nutritional information for cardboard?
  • “how the canadian girls do they look like”: How the who wha?!
  • “where to place l plates on ford ka”: Right, and they should let you pass your test why?
  • “guardian journalists rubbish web copywriters”: Hah, you said it first, mate!
  • “husband corset”: *Slips her the phone number of a good marriage therapist*
  • “imovie 08 red line when trying to drag clips”: To fix this, Step 1 – Take iMovie disc out of drive, Step 2 – Put back in packaging, Step 3 – Take back to store and demand a copy of iMovie ’06.
  • “funny & nasty domain names blog”: 😦 I don’t think my blog has a nasty name *cries* I’m hurt.
  • “tablets to get into a mood of sex”: Open email. Check spam folder. There you go, plenty of “sexy mood” tablets for ya!
  • “how do you work out if a girl fancies you” & “how to make a move to make out with a girl”: Hmm how to explain you have NO hope.
  • “where can i read the latest darwin award entries?”: Uhh let’s see DarwinAwards.com?
  • “my sister-in-law nude pictures”: Dude, that’s NEVER a good idea…
  • “thong knickers banned in schools”: Excuse my ignorance, but umm, do they check every morning?
  • “canadian pillow humping”: Buahahaha wtf?
  • “smartass”: Oh, sorry, I’ll stop now.

Previous edition: Funny Google Searches: Looking Back at 2006 Edition

The real hardcore geek's programming language: LOLCAT

You know you’re a proper geek when you can write in LOLCODE, the latest and greatest programming language to grace the Interweb. It’s a simple language written for the cats, by the cats.

File open example

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"?
    AWSUM THX
        VISIBLE FILE
    O NOES
        INVISIBLE "ERROR!"
KTHXBYE

What can I say? I has 1337 code. LOL!!1